I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont even know how to be here
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
