It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
