"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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