I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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