i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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