I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there was a trapeze. enough said
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
