You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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