Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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