Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
