I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
