Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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