Is it because I queefed?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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