I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
