I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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