hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
