It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
