Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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