he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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