Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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