So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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