so that wasnt chicken after all
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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