I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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