Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
