Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
