just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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