We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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