i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
