Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
