so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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