Sry I called you an 8
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
