She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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