and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize