you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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