The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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