Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize