Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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