come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
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