just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
