so explain again why im purple
no
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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