so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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