You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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