This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
