Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it's like heaven, but drunker
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize