You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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