I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
