I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
