Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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