I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
