I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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