Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
