i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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