Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
