i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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