We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
