No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
