Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
