are you so shy because you have an std?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
