you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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