His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
