Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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