Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic

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(913): View more from Kansas

I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.

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(719): View more from Colorado

These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69

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(828): View more from North Carolina

She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.

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(816): View more from Missouri

purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..

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(317): View more from Indiana

We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.

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