she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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