i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
