just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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