Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
