This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
