I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
