I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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