Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
