So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
