i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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